When my two year old wakes up every morning he says, “Good mowning kwistmas tree.”  Sunday morning he went up and hugged it and said “I wuv you.”  He likes to hug things.  Sometimes he hugs the door when we get home and says, “I wuv you house.”

Submitted by: Lisa

When my children were young we had a couple cassettes of “Psalty the Singing Songbook” for the car.  While driving once, we were listening to one and the tape went…

Psalty: “When people make fun of you because you are Christian, you can either pretend that you aren’t a Christian, OR you can stand up for Jesus.  Jimmy, are you going to stand up for Jesus?”

Jimmy: “I’ll stand up for Jesus.”

Psalty: “What about you Sarah, with you stand up for Jesus?”

Sarah: “Yes, I’ll stand up for Jesus too.”

It was at this point that I asked my daughter…

Me: “Well Stefanie, will you stand up for Jesus?”

Stefanie: Crying, hysterical, and tugging at her car seat “I c-c-can’t… I’m all buckled in!”

Submitted by: Esther

A couple nights ago my husband and I put up the decorations while our kids were sleeping.  When my 2 year old woke up she walked around wide-eyed and said, “Mommy, it looks like Christmas… EVERYWHERE!”

Submitted by: Tina

When my son was 8 years old we were shopping together at Target.  He had a box of M&M’s and I had to keep myself from cringing every time he dropped one, picked it up, and proceeded to eat it.  It wasn’t until he spilled several M&M’s at the same time and was picking them all up that I said something…

Me: “Don’t you think that’s a little gross?  Those have germs all over them now.”

Son: “Yeah… but you can’t really taste them.”

I had to look away so he didn’t see me laughing.

Submitted by: Virginia

I was giving a spelling test to my 6th grade class.  One of the words was intermittent.  One child wrote:

Intermitten – inside of a mitten

I gave it to her because I was laughing so hard.

Submitted by: Mr. Arnold

I was kidsitting for a 9 year old girl once.  As I put her to bed one night, we were reading the book Bats on the Beach.  When we got to the second page where two bats are flying to the beach with a picnic basket I asked…

Me: “What do you think is in the basket?  Maybe food?”

Her: “Wine.”

LOL =)

Submitted by: Eliza

My daughter’s Kindergarten teacher is Miss Riley.  One night…

Daughter: “Mommy, I want you to read me a story before bedtime.”

Me: “Okay, go pick one out.”

She picks out her book, sits in my lap and I start reading her the story.  I only get about 6 pages into it when my daughter asks…

Daughter: “How come you don’t taste the pages like Miss Riley does before she turns them?”

Submitted by: Bev

After picking up my 3 year old from my mother’s house one day I asked…

Me: “Did you use the toilet at Grandma’s house?”

Son: “Yes”

Me: “Number 1 or number 2?”

Son: “I think number 5, I went a lot.”

Submitted by: Stephen

A kindergartener came up to me this morning, held up her hands and asked, “Have you seen my gloves?  They are pink, and they are kind of shaped like my hand.”

Submitted by: Samantha

We got my son a Mother Goose talking cassette player for Christmas (back in the day).  It was pretty cool, it would move and the cassettes would play from inside Mother Goose like she was reading the story.  Anyway, a couple days after Christmas…

Son: “Mom, I want joooze.”

Me: “Joooze?  Do you want to put on your shoes?”

Son: “No, joooze.”

Me: (clearly understanding) “Ohhh, you want me to get Mother Goose.”

Son: “NO!  Mom I want JOOOZE!  You know, in the jigerater.”

Submitted by: Esther