One of the funny things my 3 and a half year old says is, “I need 3 dollars.”  He never says 5 or 10; he always needs 3 dollars.  Even if the toy is $20 he still swears he needs the 3 dollars to buy it.  Once he added, “Nobody gives Tony a job.  I’m a baby momma, duh.”

Submitted by: Kathy

A few days ago I was upstairs putting away some of my daughter’s toys.  When I came back downstairs my 2 year old daughter’s face was completely covered in black mascara.  I was about to put her in time-out for getting in to my make up when she looked at me so proudly and said, “Pretty mommy” pointing at her face.  She then pointed at the dog and said, “Pretty mommy”.  When I looked at the dog, her face was also covered in mascara.  My poor dog was just laying there staring at me with a “save me from this child” look on her face.

Submitted by: Elizabeth

My son (4-years-old) and I were on our way home from shopping.  While driving past the cemetery my son said, “Is that the place where dead people live?”

It made me chuckle.

Submitted by: Tara

My family and I spent Christmas with my niece and her kids.  When we arrived I noticed that my six year old nephew’s nose was all scratched.  I asked him what happened and he responded with, “Grandma’s dog bit my favorite nose.”  A couple days later his brother hit him in the eye with a snowball, and I heard him tell his mom, “Billy hurt my favorite eye.”

Submitted by: Daphne

My Aunt was giving her two 3 year old sons a bath one night and asking them questions about things they were learning in school.  She asks them, “What kind of bird does not fly?”  One of them says “A dead one!”  The answer she was looking for was a penguin.

Submitted by: Renee

I was volunteering in a 4 and 5 year old Sunday school class when I heard one girl singing “Barbara Manatee” a VeggieTales song.  Another girl went up to her and asked her how she knew that song.  She replied, “I don’t know, from my childhood I guess.”

Submitted by: Grant

Some years ago when I taught 5th grade, I overheard two boys talking about communion at church.  One said to the other, “I like how they serve snack at church, I just wish it was a little bigger.”  The second boy replied, “Yeah, me too!”

Submitted by: Robin

Over Christmas break I was playing Cranium with several family members.  We were playing boys vs girls, and the girls were dominating… nearly around the entire board while the boys were still on the first side.  My 10 year old nephew Austin says in a quite bummed-out voice…

Austin: “Ah man, we are going to lose bad.”

Me: “Way to be positive Austin.”

Austin: “I know, I’m positive we are going to lose bad.”

Submitted by: Emily

My 5 year old Russian neighbor was telling me about a cartoon.  She said, “Then the bad guy turned him into кости.  How you say that in English?”  I reminded her that I don’t know Russian.  She said, “It’s in here,” pointing to her abdomen, “and if you don’t have them you look like this.”  She proceeded to wave her arms up and down and sway her body like a tree in a breeze until… “You mean ‘bones’?”  ”Yeah, кости?”

Submitted by: Emily

My preschool class is composed of both English and Spanish speaking 4 year olds. Yesterday one of the English speakers came up to me and said “Why did the police shoot his dog?”  Becoming a little worried I went up to the Spanish speaking child and heard him singing “Feliez Navidad”.  I think there was a translation problem.

Submitted by: Elaine